God is enough!

I wanted to update you on Days 1 and 2, but more than that, I want to make sure you know that God is all you need. I have had some pretty bad side effects with IV steroids since 2010. I am not sure what changed, but since then, they have not been my friend. The protocol for Lemtrada infusions is to get high dose steroids for an hour before starting Lemtrada each day. The steroids are to control side effects. My doctor knows how I am with them, so he put me on half the normal dose. I never get to be in the "normal" category in anything. While on those yesterday, my blood pressure went up (common). After finishing them, my blood pressure plummeted. I thought what I was feeling was part of the process so I tried to tough it out. I finally said my nurse's name. She looked up and said, "You look awful". She checked my blood pressure and then started giving instructions. They pushed 2 bags of fluids, etc. That worked eventually. I also started to feel the effects of the Lem. My back started to hurt. It felt like muscle spasms. I told the nurse that I better get a baby out of this. It moved down the back of my legs, up to my shoulders and neck and the back of my head. In the middle of that, I thought, "I need Doug in here." He was in the hall and had no idea anything was going on. I heard God whisper, "I am enough." I said, "Yes, You are, God". Nothing changed physically at that moment, but I had crazy peace. That is the kind that is unexplainable in a particular situation because it is not normal; it is from Him. By the time I left, all of that had improved. I just had a gargantuan headache and my legs felt like Gumby last night. 

This morning we headed back. My headache wasn't nearly as bad and my legs were better. The nurse watched me constantly all day, but the steroids didn't have the same effect as yesterday. My back started hurting, but the nurse had suggested that I bring my muscle relaxers today. I took those and the pain never spread. Thank you Jesus! On the way home, Doug asked me several times how I felt. He doesn't always believe me when I say I feel fine.

Now, back to God being enough. If someone asked us if He is enough for us, we would say, "yes", but most people lean on and depend on so many other things in their life - their husband, parents, children, job, strength, possessions, money, and on and on. Think about difficult situations you have been through in your life. If you had been all alone with nothing. Family was unavailable or not there, no physical strength, no money, nothing but God. Could you have made it through that? I don't like to think about those things, but it is easier to let God show you what you depend on in addition to Him now, than to go through a fire for the specific purpose of burning off the dross of your dependencies. God knows the only way you will live an abundant life is if He is everything and He is enough. I don't love Doug any less, I just take any crazy expectations or pressure off of him. He always tries to be there to walk with me through difficult times, but he knows he can go to Ukraine and not worry that if things get difficult, I will fall apart. I am definitely not perfect in this and never will be but, hopefully, always growing in my faith walk. One week that Doug was gone last summer was awful - physically, emotionally, spiritually, in every way. We would Skype most nights. I would paint on a smile and convince him I was fine. I don't think I handled that well at all. God did some work before the next trip. He completely changed my heart. I thought after that week having been so awful, that I would be upset every time he left. It has been the opposite. I am excited about the amazing things God is doing through Prevail Missions. I love the excitement in his face and voice on those Skype calls. Is it easy? Nope, but I handle some really tough things in a completely different way because God showed me that He is enough. What a change that revelation makes in the way you walk through life. I pray that God grows me in this every day and I hope that I don't continue to only learn lessons the hard way. I say, "God, try me one time. Just tell me what the lesson is and see if I will learn it without having to walk barefoot across hot coals." He has given me plenty of chances to do that with what I read in His Word, what He has taught me in my life already, and the powerful messages Doug has been preaching. Evidently, I am just very hard-headed. Hot coals, I will see you soon.

Here we go!

I have friends and family who have asked for updates through this journey ahead of me and some MS friends who would like to have a daily journal so they have an idea of what to expect when it is their turn. I didn't feel like Facebook was where I wanted to post daily. I decided if I use my blog (last used over three years ago), it would be optional. Haha! No one is forced to read the tedious, boring details but it will be here for those that have this ahead of them. Of course, everyone's experience with Lemtrada will be different (I am talking like the FDA now). 

I remember many years ago saying that I felt like there might be a cure for MS in my lifetime, but it would certainly be too late for me. Then a few years ago, I heard about a drug in trials that looked really promising - still a long way off. Then a couple of years ago, this "really promising" drug was really going to happen. Then researchers ran into roadblocks the U.S. Finally, in November 2014, Lemtrada was approved and I was put on a waiting list. This is not a cure for MS, but the results of the clinical trials blow my mind. In the majority of patients it stops the MS in it's tracks. Many people even have an improvement in MS syptoms they are experiencing daily. There is a chance I can not only stop getting worse, but I can actually get better. Several months ago, I came off the waiting list and into the cue - February 1st through 5th. Today I found out that they can get me in Monday, January 25th!

Lemtrada rapidly depletes the immune system cells (T and B cells) that damage nerves in the Central Nervous System. Once those cells are destroyed, the attack on the nerves can potentially be halted. A new group of T and B cells will eventually be produced by the body and hopefully, the new immune system will behave differently. I will be getting rid of this immune system that has been attacking me for 17 years. As with any drugs, there are potential side effects, but none I plan on having. This could wipe me out for awhile and I will have to be super careful around people due to my tiny little newborn immune system that is growing. You know how I like pictures in my mind. I like that picture of my little growing immune system better than the picture of my defenses being annihilated. 

I will start taking 4 medications Saturday in preparation for Monday. I will take one antiviral for two months. I will also have IV steroids along with the Lemtrada infusions. I don't have a great relationship with steroids. I will be in Cullman each morning at 7:30. Doug will put me in a little red wagon and wheel me in because I will probably be asleep. I will be there for 7 hours. It is about an hour and 15 minutes to my doctor's infusion center from Muscle Shoals. 

I have no idea exactly what is ahead of me, but God does. He has been working on it for quite awhile. I may not be in that percentage that respond well to the medication, but that won't be a surprise for Him either. My journey with MS has been crazy, but He has always been the constant in my life. I have seen Him use MS in my life in such a huge way. It made me dependent on Him. I learned that I literally can't get out of the bed in the morning unless He does it. By the way, neither can you. I have been traveling and speaking to groups of people who have MS for 13 years. I have met hundreds of people that I never would have met - not just people effected by MS, but taxi drivers, pharmaceutical reps, and the poor people who are stuck sitting beside me on a plane. One of my favorite "God plane rides" was a young man in an Air Force uniform (he looked about 15). I talked to him about God and he said he was a Christian. I thought I was sitting beside him because he was ready to hear about Jesus, but he already knew about Him. He asked why I had been in Pensacola. I told him I had spoken to a group of people with MS. His eyes got really big and he said, "My mom has MS and I have been so worried about leaving her!" God did it again! So even if this medicine has no effect on me, I know God has something planned for His glory. 

I have been excited about getting started but I have been tempted to be anxious and to dread it, but I just remembered what God taught me about dread. When I dread an event or a task ahead, one of two things will happen. 1. I stress out about it and it is not as bad as my imagination thought it would be. So I went though it anyway in my mind or 2. I stress out about it and it IS a difficult situation. Then I have gone through it twice by dreading it. 

Here we go! "I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me."

Missy

The Fruit of the Spirit

It has been awhile since I have posted. I have the best intentions about my blog but I never seem to get to the things on the lower half of my list. Our Sunday School class is going through an awesome book called "A Woman's Walk With God" by Elizabeth George. It is a study about the fruit of the Spirit. The main thing that she stresses is that this fruit is not something that we are to work really hard to produce in our life. It is the natural result when we abide in the vine. When we are walking closely with God and filled with His Spirit, He will grow these amazing character traits in our lives. I would love to live a life characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. But, I can't. The only thing I can do is obey God as He prepares me to be a conduit for His love, His joy, His peace, His patience, His kindness, His goodness, and His self-control. Our purpose in life is to enjoy God and glorify Him. When our life displays the fruit of the Spirit, it brings glory to God not to us. When we love the people in our life that are unloveable, He is glorified. When we have joy despite trials and difficulties in our life. it brings Him glory. The world is not accustomed to seeing patience and kindness. I am so excited about studying this scripture and how God is going to teach me how to surrender my will to His and to allow Him to grow His fruit in my life. I am also excited to watch what God is going to do in the lives of the ladies in my class and one special young lady that I am meeting with and doing the same study. It is only the second week that she and I have met together and I already see God working in her life. She was baptized yesterday on her birthday. What an amazing birthday!

Work It Out, Girl !

It has been a long time since I have posted. It has been a tough few months. It has taken all my time and energy to survive. You know what I am talking about. I know you have been there. Only God's grace and mercy has brought me through.

Now, I know you are curious about the title of this post. I have two forms of therapy that are very useful to me when I am feeling like a failure as a mom or a housekeeper (which has been quite a bit lately). This is very spiritual so listen closely. As I heard on some commercial, I hope you have an unbrella cause it is about to rain some cold, hard facts up in here. When I begin to think that I am a terrible mom, I watch "Toddlers & Tiaras" or "Dance Moms". When I begin to feel like a failure at keeping a moderately cleanish house, I watch "Hoarders". Afterwards, I feel refreshed and encouraged. Everything is not relative, but if it were, I could watch these shows and walk away feeling like a cross between Ruth Graham and Martha Stewart. Of course, it doesn't take long for me to fall (literally) off of that pedestal.

Anyway, if you have ever watched "Toddlers & Tiaras", you have heard that phrase shouted a million times - "Work It Out, Girl !". It is shouted by a worldly, mis-guided, prideful mother to the selfish, conceited, but beautiful brat that she created who is on stage. The phrase is an order.....encouragement for her daughter to shake her hiney, display as many of her fake teeth as possible, and to flirt with the judges. It is hilarious and yet tragically sad that these are real people.

That phrase made me think of some verses. Philippians 2:12b-13 says "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose". Verse 14 is a whole different blog. Verse 12 is not saying that we work to earn our salvation. It is a free gift. There is nothing we can do to earn it. It is totally a God-thing. I love the way my favorite preacher explained it. "Let what is inside of you work it's way to the outside". In fact, if the Holy Spirit is living inside of you, then He will work His way to the outside. People will see by the way you talk, live, love, and serve. Too often, though, we get so wrapped up in things that have no eternal value that we do not consciously work out our salvation. It is tragic to see women who are so wrapped up in how they look, what kind of car they drive, the house they live in and how it is decorated, how their children are dressed, what everyone thinks about them that they don't seem to give any time or even any thought to growing in their walk with God, ministering to other people, giving to those who need it instead of spending extra money on a nicer car or more things, and on and on.

I am not saying I've got it all together. I challenge myself in this area as I challenge you and when I say this, rest assured that I am not telling you to have pretty feet and flash your flipper.

Work It Out, Girl ! Work out your salvation. Let everyone see it and want what you have.

A Good Man

I would like to share an unbelievable excerpt from a book by Charles Spurgeon. This is from the devotion for last Saturday, June 18th. "Is it a day of sorrow with us? Let us expect to see the Lord gloried in our deliverance. Are we drawn out in fervent prayer? Do we cry day and night unto Him? Then the time for His grace is near. God will lift up Himself at the right season. He will arise when it will be most for the display of His glory. We wish for His glory more than we long for our own deliverance. Let the Lord be exalted, and our chief desire obtained."

That's amazing that Spurgeon wrote that on June 18th many, many years ago. How did he know what that day would hold in 2011?......God knew. Saturday, June 18th, was the day God chose to have a very special homecoming. It was the day that Bill Farris, my father-in-law, stepped from a life of sanctification to glorification. He went from years of faith to instant sight. He saw Jesus, His Savior, face to face. This makes me want to shout. I must admit it makes me a little jealous, but it won't be long at all until we will see him again.

I am rejoicing for Bill, but my heart breaks for his beautiful wife. She has been with Bill for so long that I am sure she can't remember what pre-Bill life was like. She will miss the things he does around their home. She will miss looking out the window and seeing him mowing, raking, picking up sticks....and twigs, edging, mowing, raking, sweeping, picking up sticks.....you get the idea.......he loved to work in his yard. She will even miss him picking at her (saying things without cracking a smile leaving her to try and figure out if he was kidding or not). My heart also breaks for three little boys that are going to miss their dad. They are all grown now, but I saw the little boys in them that weren't ready to let go of their dad today. My heart breaks for us daughter-in-laws who feel like we have lost a dad. My heart breaks for the grandkids. He loved them all and was a GREAT granddad.

I stood for 2 and a half hours today, shook hands, hugged necks, and listened to story after story about Bill. Many of them had played ball under Bill. I heard them all agree that he was a great coach. Many worked with him. Many went to church with him. But over and over I heard them say, "He was a good man." I have been thinking about that. These were people who had been touched by Bill at different times throughout his long life. From those who played ball with him all the way up to those who go to church with him now - they all agreed. "He was a good man."

We touch alot of people in our lives. Touching is not always a good thing. Sometimes, if you asked the people we work with to describe us, along with the people we go to church with, and the people in our home who know us the best, you would get a different description from each one. That is a sign that we are not living a life of truth. We pretend to be something we are not. Unfortunately, it is usually the people closest to us that see the real us. But if all those people describe us the same way (hopefully a good way), then we can look at that description and see a true picture of ourselves. That might be a scary thought for you.

When I get to the end of my life, I don't really care how much I have accomplished. I don't care how much money I have. First of all, I want my Lord to be pleased. I want to step out of this life and into the next straight into the presence of Jesus - and see Him smile. Can you imagine hearing Him say "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Second, I want to have left behind a testimony that points others to Him. Not a testimony of wavering, but of being faithful. I don't really want people to say I was great, I want them to say "Her God is great!"

Bill had that kind of testimony. He was rock solid throughout his life. He raised three amazing sons that Vivian, Joye, and I are very thankful for. I watched Doug get up at the funeral and share with a ton a people what God had laid on his heart to share. I could tell that it was a struggle for him to get every word out without breaking down. It wasn't easy, but he did it out of obedience to God and as something he could do for his dad after all his dad has done for him.

Thank you, God, for the gift of Bill to Julie, Kent, Hank, and Doug. Thank you so much for allowing me the privilege of being a part of this family. Tell Bill that we love him and miss him but we are going to be OK. Tell him to enjoy the party and we will see him soon.

A Good Man.

The Luxury of Misery

It has been quite awhile since I posted. So much has happened. Our state was devastated by tornadoes on April 27th. I can not even put into words what it has been like. The testimonies have been unbelievable. You are able to see exactly what it is like to go through this type of tragedy with or without God. On the same news report, I would see one person who was distraught and without hope because they had lost everything and another person who said they had God and that was all they needed. God has used this to glorify Himself in so many ways. He has also taught the people of this state what it means to love your neighbor. Everyone has come together to pray, work, and give to those effected directly by the storms. I have a trunk full of Bibles right now. A group of us hope to be able to go into some of the hard hit areas close by and just allow God to use us how He wants to. Whether it be to listen, pray with someone, share the gospel, cry with them, hug them - we just want to be a glove on God's hand. We will give a Bible to anyone who lost their's or has never had one.

New subject: I would like to share a little of the latest thing that God has slapped me across the head with. If you know me or have been reading my blog, you know that God generally has to deal with me in that way. I don't think I have ever learned a lesson the easy way in my entire life. Several days ago I was reading from "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It was a gift from my sweet mother-in-law, Julie, for Christmas in 1986 (about a month before I was saved). May I say that there are days that I read Oswald and I just sit there with my mouth open. "Whaaaat does that mean??" I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. Sometimes I wish he would dumb it down for me a little, because the days that I understand are awesome. Ha. Let me quote a small section for you that talks about self-pity.

"We think it a sign of real modesty to say at the end of a day - "Oh, well, I have just got through, but it has been a severe tussle." - And all the Almighty God is ours in the Lord Jesus! And He will tax the last grain of sand and the remotest star to bless us if we will obey Him. What does it matter if external circumstances are hard? Why should they not be! If we give way to self-pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we banish God's riches from our own lives and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it obliterates God and puts self-interest upon the throne. It opens our mouths to spit out murmurings and our lives become craving spiritual sponges, there is nothing lovely or generous about them."

Whoa! - the luxury of misery. I see people everyday who are miserable and they don't want to be any other way. They love to wallow in their misery. They love the pity of others. I realized that even though I don't try and make people feel sorry for me, I do have my own little private pity parties. It is private because nobody shows up to party with me. I never thought about how my talking or thinking about what a rough week I have had is as if I am saying that God was not enough to get me through it victoriously. "Well, I survived, but barely." When I feel sorry for myself because of my MS and the things I can't do, I am in essence questioning God for allowing this to come into my life. I am showing a lack of faith. I am saying that all that God does through me and in me is not enough. He IS enough!! I asked for forgiveness then I asked God to show me everytime I was beginning to start the party preparations. I want Him to yell at me when I begin to get out the streamers and the balloons. I want Him to make me aware of where my mind is headed because I don't want to let anyone be able to look at my life and think that God is not enough - that He somehow didn't come through for me - that they need to pity me. I want people to look at me and see Jesus.

BTW, don't watch your mailbox for an invitation. No more pity parties for me.

The Guide Called Pride

One of my classes is studying Philippians. I love, love Philippians. Actually, I realized that I love the part of Philippians that is joyful and encouraging. Come to think of it, I guess that is my attitude toward most of God's Word. Not that I don't love it all, I do because I love Him. I know that He is perfect and good and so is His Word. But when it comes to applying His Word, some parts are definitely easier and more fun than others. When I begin to think that way, God brings me back to the realization that it is not about me. It is not about what is fun or easy. My life is all about bringing Him glory. One of the ways I do that is by being obedient to what He tells me to do or not to do in His Word. Of course, that is impossible for me. But when I am yielded to Him, He does the work through me. I can't obey or have faith or anything without Him doing it through me.

So many times, when reading the Bible, we skim over parts that we have heard alot. A while back, God impressed upon me to read and study the Bible as if I had never read or heard it before. That has been life-changing. Back to Philippians - we are in Chapter 2 this week. I decided to memorize verse 3. "When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourself." NCV. Read that again. Wow! "When you do things" - uh, that pretty much includes everything we do. The NIV says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit". So for starters, this verse is going to tell us what kind of attitude we need to have and not have when we do anything. Work? Taking care of our children? Dealing with our husband?......did I say "dealing", I meant to say "enjoying". Church? How we treat people who are not easy to love or easy to get along with or just plain get on our nerves? Yep, all of these.

Next it tells us to not let selfishness or pride be our guide. When doing the easy, fun parts of our day or when doing the very difficult parts of our day, we are to make sure that we are not guided by selfishness or pride. I began to think about times that I get angry or upset in different situations. There always seemed to be a way to justify my thoughts or actions, but when it comes down to it, every situation was handled in a wrong way because I was either being selfish or prideful - every time. God tells us to die to our self, not pamper it and make sure that it is treated the right way.

Then He tells us to be humble. Humility comes when we see who God really is and then see ourselves in comparison. The God of the universe compared to an ant. Being in God's presence will make us humble. It is the opposite of pride which is all about me. Once we have an attitude of humility, we are able to give more honor to others than to ourselves. Our natural response is to take care of number one. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. Don't allow anyone to treat you in a way that you don't deserve. Draw the attention to yourself. Complain when things aren't going your way. That is not the kind of life that brings glory to God though. Again it involves dying to our own desires, rights, and will.

When you really meditate on this verse for awhile and look at your life, you will probably find that you don't measure up. I certainly don't. Really, how many people do you know that live like that? How many people have you known in your life who live like that? I know a few now. I have known some in my life. It sounds impossible. It is. But with God all things are possible. If He has told us to live this way, then He expects us to. All we have to do is completely surrender to Him and allow Him to live this life through us. I wrote this verse on several different cards so I could read it over and over throughout the day. My prayer is that God will etch it into my mind and heart so that when I start to think or act in a way that doesn't line up with this verse, I will stop and think. Hopefully, I will make the right choice and let God live this verse through me.

Can you imagine what a different world we would live in if every Christian walked this verse out? God help us to bring You glory.

But You Don't Know What They Did

The past week or so, I have heard so many different people talk about being angry, bitter, unwilling to forgive, etc. Every person I listened to was able to completely justify their anger. Sometimes I heard this from people that I know well - other times from strangers. I was fortunate enough to hear one lady's entire life story (or at least the part that explains why she despises her ex) while waiting in the pharmacy line at Wal-Mart. She was talking on her cell phone. Her two children heard every word of it. That has me thinking, praying and reading about bitterness and holding a grudge. There are just as many angry, embittered people who profess to be Christians. If you were to ask them "According to the Bible, is it wrong to be bitter, hold a grudge, remain angry with a person?" They would probably say, "Yes, BUT you don't know my situation". No, I don't but God does and He says "But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him....put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another. If anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do." Col. 3:8-10,12-13. When we were saved, we died to our old man. Christ made us a brand new person. From that point on, our desire is to please and obey Him. Do we do it perfectly? No. It is a life-long growth process, but we long for that growth. You may not have had anyone show you how to get into the Word, but all you really need is the Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You don't have to look far for Him. He came to live inside of you when you gave your life to Him. We are without excuse. We cannot say that we are angry and bitter because of what someone else did to us. God will not accept your excuses. The only thing you will answer for is your reaction. We cannot say we didn't know that the Bible said that. Does God really expect us to forgive the way Christ forgave us? Yes. Can we really live a life like that? No, but Christ can live it through us. So, if you are trying to live your life with your heart filled with bitterness or unforgiveness, you will be miserable and God will not use you. He will do His work in spite of you, but you will be spinning your wheels and wasting your life. What is the root of your bitterness? Selfishness and pride. Think about it. They hurt me or mine. God tells us very plainly that we are to die to ourselves. In order for Him to live through us, we must choose to die to our own desires and our own rights. In our anger, we say "I have a right to be treated a certain way" or "they had no right". If Christ is in control of your life, you have no rights. It is all about Him. What then? 1/Is God really in control of your life? If you are not completely different, a new person, then you would need to start here - on your knees seeking God. 2/If you have established that you are saved, but just living far beneath what He has for you - that you are living a life of sin, you need to confess your sin and turn from it. Give Christ the throne of your life. As long as you are holding a grudge, you are the one on the throne because that is not how God does things 3/If God tells you to make things right with someone, OBEY 4/ Start right now getting in the Word. Find out how He wants you to live. Walk every day controlled by the Holy Spirit. When you mess up - confess and turn control back over to Him. I know this is a pretty tough post, but I am just so saddened to see so many Christians living so far beneath what God has for them. He tells us we are to deny ourselves, yet we pet, pamper, defend, and fight for ourselves. Life is short. Don't you want Him to be able to use you to make a real difference that will be an eternal one? You will stand before Him one day. If it was today, would you hear "Well done" or would you find yourself trying to come up with excuses for the way you are living your life. Give Him control and start to really live life. You will find freedom, joy, and peace that is beyond anything you could have imagined. I don't know about you but I will trade my rights for those things any day. Then to have Him use me for His kingdom work - there is no greater joy.

Preach it !

I understand the Scriptural teaching on authority in the church and in the home. Therefore, I will never pastor a church. In fact, my son says I shouldn't even be speaking in church. Ha! Yeah, we all know that will never happen. But since the word preach actually means proclaim, I have been accused of doing quite a bit of preaching. In fact, one of the things I preach to my ladies the most is that they need to be proclaiming Jesus, what He has done in their lives, and what He can do in other people's lives.

Most of us are talkers (some more than others). According to my niece, Tara, I talk to random strangers in the most unusual places. According to my daughter, Hannah, I cannot simply go into and out of a store without making a new friend. Last week, Hannah and I went in Hobby Lobby while David waited in the car. I said "This won't take long. We will just run in and out." About 30 minutes later, I hear Hannah on her cell phone talking to David. She is saying: "Guess what she is doing. Yep, making a new friend. Now they are exchanging contact info. They are going to be Facebook friends." When Tara was growing up she was afraid to go to the mall with me because I would embarass her. For some people, talking to others especially strangers is not natural or easy. Whichever kind of personality you have, the mission is still the same. In fact, God gets more glory when a shy person speaks up because that is proof that He is the one speaking.

I have felt such joy the past week as I have heard several of my ladies (they are not mine - they are God's; I just have to call them something.) share how they have been obedient when God told them to preach it (proclaim Him). One is in a southern gospel group. God used her to minister to a lady. She listened and then prayed for her. She let God speak through her and may never know what an impact that had in that woman's life. Another was driving down our street and hit a woman's mailbox. She stopped to check the damage and knocked on the woman's door. She spoke with the woman for awhile and was invited to stop by anytime and visit. My friend lost a daughter several years ago - when I told her that the woman who lives in that house also lost a daughter, everyone in our group got goosebumps. I promise I am not making this up. Another dear friend was visited by a person who is a member of a cult. She invited the lady inside. The poor woman had knocked on her door while she was in the middle of her quiet time. Ha! I love to watch God at work. She shared Jesus with her. When you are walking daily, closely with Jesus, these types of things will happen all the time. He will begin to show you all the many opportunities you have in your everyday life to preach it. The fear that you may have expected just doesn't happen. It is a natural process. You love God; you have experienced Him in your life; you are filled and controlled by His Spirit. In obedience, you open your mouth and He does the talking. When I share Jesus with someone or share with a group or teach, inevitably I walk away having no idea what I said. If I do know, that probably means that I was the one doing the talking not Him.

The first step in being able to preach it is to get to know God on a very personal, intimate basis. That takes some discipline, but very soon you become hungry to know Him more and more. Once you experience Him speaking to you through His Word, there is no going back. The next step is to get out of your "me box". If we don't have our focus where it should be at the beginning of each day, the natural (fleshly) thing to do is to go through our day with our focus on ourself, our family, our job, our problems, our list of things to do, etc. Those things are important when kept in perspective. We need to walk through our day controlled by God. We do and say what He wants us to. We don't say and don't do what He tells us not to say and do. When that relationship is where it should be, the result is an overflow of Him. Remember that amazing hymn - "Make Me a Channel of Blessing"? We become a channel of Jesus. It is no longer nerve-wracking or even a conscious thing. We just proclaim it. Sometimes only sowing a seed. Sometimes having the mind-blowing honor and joy of leading someone to be reconciled to God.

So, think back over this past week. What have you been talking about? Maybe you are in a very, very difficult situation. Preach Him! Maybe you don't like your job. Preach Him! Maybe you are a very shy person. Preach Him! Maybe you don't know all the answers. He does. Preach Him! Whatever situation you find yourself in, God will give you opportunities to talk about Him. Preach it!

Dancing In The Rain

I told you that I would give you more details about the retreat that God is putting together called "Dancing In The Rain". We are close enough to having everything in place to get started that I felt like it is time to let you know more about it. This is something that God put on my heart at least a year ago, maybe longer. I just started to write down verses that I came across that talked about joy. It is amazing how often joy is mentioned in the Bible, yet we see so little of it lived out. I am not talking about happiness - that comes when everything in your life is going well. Then when things aren't going well, you may experience hopelessness, anger, depression... I knew that the joy in the Bible is not like that at all. I have seen it lived out in certain people's lives over the years. Probably even now, someone's name is popping into your mind. They are like a magnet. You want to spend time with them. You want to be like them. Even when they go through really tough times, even through tears you can see Jesus on their face. I will never forget seeing one of these precious few at the funeral of her husband. She had tears rolling down her face and yet she was still smiling and encouraging other people. It wasn't a fake, painted on smile. It was just the sweet, crazy peace of Jesus coming out. You know, whatever is on the inside will come out. Unfortunately, very few people live lives of true joy. The majority of Christians live their life as if they are on a roller coaster. I saw this joy lived out in my mentor many years ago. From that time on, I prayed that God would make me into that kind of person. Seeing as I have never in my life learned a lesson the easy way - God has had to take me through the fire time after time to get me to a place in my life where my joy is not based on my circumstances. I am not perfect in this area by any means, but He has taught me how to get there. I have had MS for 11 1/2 years. I realize that God has to keep me in a 24/7 trial so that I will be dependant on Him and desperate for Him. I feel like He wants me to share what He has taught me about joy.

God brought a very special lady into my life several years ago. Tonya has a voice like an angel and she is the mother of 2 sweet boys with hydrocephelus. She has a husband and teenage son that help her, but she also lives in a 24/7 trial. She has grown by leaps and bounds the past year. God made it clear to me several months ago that she was who He wanted to be a part of this. I told her that we had to be living it before we could teach it.

It has been amazing how God has put all of the pieces together just like a puzzle. I had journals I had written on planes, sticky notes, and all different kinds of little puzzle pieces. As I sit down to work on it and start typing, God just seems to pull it all together. I know it is from Him. This is His thing. Our main prayer is that we stay out of the way and just let Him work. Tonya will be doing the worship and some other songs. She will also share her testimony. She is in the process of praying over many different songs to be sure she has the ones God wants in there.

We will have things together and be ready to get started in June if we are able to continue on the schedule we have been on. Only God knows what tomorrow holds. Tonya's son, Brandon, had a really bad seizure a couple of months ago. He was in ICU for awhile. He has continued to have them since then. I have had a really rough year with my MS. I am improving, but every day is a surprise. I guess that is a plus with MS - I never know what to expect. Ha! Needless to say, when these retreats happen, they will be all God. He will have to give us the strength, words, everything. We wouldn't want it any other way. That is what joy comes down to - a relationship with God where He is on the throne of your life and you are on the cross.

If I had the ability to write, I could write a 2-volume book on what God has taught me in my life. Again, most of those lessons were learned the hard way. I have gone through some pretty difficult things and I wouldn't trade a single one for the walk I have right now with Him. There is no greater joy than walking daily with Him and being used by Him. Can you imagine that the God of the universe chooses to use us to do His kingdom work? That blows my mind.

So there is a little summary of "Dancing in The Rain". I ask that you pray for Tonya and I. Pray mostly that we will be right where God wants us to be daily, that we will walk the way He wants us to, that we will grow more like Him every day, and that we will be useful vessels. After that, please pray for us and our families. We have already seen that satan doesn't want this to happen. But our God is soooooo much bigger than anything. If you don't have this kind of joy, get in the Word and seek God until you get there. The journey is amazing!

It Must Come Out

I just wanted to make a quick post. I know what you are thinking....."That is not going to happen". Well, it is. We had an awesome weekend. We had the Deep South Quartet Convention at our church. It was just amazing. I cannot even start to explain it. I think you can still see it at www.dsqc.org.

I heard 3 different people share the exact same thing within 2 days of each other. I felt it must be something that needed to be shared. Each person was talking about something different, but the truth behind it really hit home. Whatever is on the inside must come out. I have heard it said that if you squeeze a lemon - lemon juice will come out. What happens when life, people, satan, or even God in His love squeezes you? Think about that for a minute. We can only fake it for so long. First impressions are usually pretty good, but if someone spends a little time with you, what are they going to learn about you? I have found that as I travel and meet new people, it doesn't take long at all to know what they are all about. Whether you realize it or not, the people around you know what you are all about.

I am not just talking about our words (although those are pretty accurate indicators of our hearts), but our actions and even our facial expressions and body language speak loudly also. When I think of all the many people in my life and of people I have met only once, I feel like I have seen it all. I usually encourage my ladies to look at themselves the way God sees them. That is what is really important - but right now as I list a few things that must come out because they are in the heart of a person, look at yourself through other people's eyes. (OK, teachers, don't evaluate that sentence - I speak in run-on sentences. That is just how I roll). As I have spent time with people, here are a few of the things I have seen and heard: anger, discontentment, complaining, jealousy, doubt, bitterness, arguing, whining, rebellion, self-centeredness, etc. Then there are those precious people in my life and the God-appointments I have had with people that I only spend time with once. They exude joy, praise, love, peace, faith, kindness, selflessness, thoughtfulness, and a whole lot of Jesus. Don't you just love spending time with those folks? Don't you want to be one of those folks?

If you found yourself described more in the first list, it can't be fixed by changing the way you talk or working really hard to smile. Remember, it all comes from the inside. You have to go to the root of the problem - your heart. Get alone with God and ask Him what He wants you to do to be a person that is a blessing to Him and other people. He will tell you.

That was relatively short, wasn't it? God bless you.

It's So Nice To Meet You

I haven't posted in awhile. It has been a crazy week. Our church is getting ready to host the Deep South Quartet Convention next weekend. I have a team that is raising money for MS. We will all walk together in Huntsville in a few weeks. Also, to be honest, I didn't really want to blog about the latest thing God has been teaching me. I really didn't think it was any of your business. Nothing personal really.

A few weeks ago, God convicted me about something. Believe it or not, I said "God, I don't think I have a problem with that at all." Of course, He got a good laugh about that one. He began to point things out to me that completely proved His point. In other words, He let me see me the way He sees me. That is not a fun thing to go through, but very important. That is when the growth comes. If not for those times, we would just go on thinking we are doing fine.

This may not be true in your life at all. If it isn't, congratulations, you are way ahead of me. Hear me out anyway. Think about the way you treat people. I am not talking about how much you love them. I would give my life for my husband or children without thinking twice. I am talking about the way you treat people. Probably the person we are most polite and friendly to is the person we are introduced to for the very first time (a stranger). After that would probably be our co-workers - the people we are with every day. Even if you have some that get on your nerves or rub you the wrong way, you are still nice, respectful, and helpful (I hope). Next on the list would be our friends. We know them alot better so we feel a little more comfortable letting them see our cranky side. Another step would be our extended family - at this point in the list we are getting even more free with our tongues, but we still want to keep the peace as much as possible. Then on the very bottom - the precious people in our homes that we love more than anyone but God. There is nothing we wouldn't do for them. When any of them are sick or hurt, we would switch places if only we could.

Why then, are they many times at the bottom of our list when we give out kindness, politeness, thoughtfulness, patience...? I realized that even when I feel physically horrible and feel like snapping the heads off of every living thing I encounter, I still go to work or speak at a group and most people would never know how I really feel. When I am at home, I still try to cover it up so no one worries, but I don't try as hard to be patient or kind. If someone says or does something they shouldn't, look out ! Normally we have a very peaceful home. We don't argue and fight, but I will strategically get my 2 cents worth in. As God began to show this to me, I began to pray as I neared my home from work just like I did on my way to work - that God would speak, act, and love through me.

Ms. Mary Oates taught me many years ago - when I get mad at Doug to just go to my room and pray. Either God will show me how I was wrong or He will calm me down before I say something I will regret. That has been monumental in our marriage. It seems now, though, that God is fine-tuning that even more, satan is pointing out all of these little things that never bothered me before. So it seems I have spent more time in my room this week. Ha! Doug is very kind and thoughtful to me, but I will hear this little voice "He is just bringing you a cup of coffee because he thinks you will fall and pour it everywhere and burn yourself and have an emergency room bill to pay" LOL ..you get the idea.

Just give this some thought. Whether they are perfect or not (my guess is that they are not), let God be the wife and mother through you. Listen to how you speak to them and the things you say. Do kind things that aren't expected. Encourage and uplift instead of criticizing and complaining. I made David learn Phil. 2:14 when he was little. I can still hear him saying it. It would do all of us good to memorize that one.

Give Me Strength

Before I even start to explain what God showed me this week, let me go ahead and make one thing clear. I do not think it is wrong to ask God to give you strength. Without Him, we have no strength or power or boldness or wisdom or peace or joy.... or anything. I ask God to give me strength many times a day because strength is one of the things I lack the most. There are many many days that I wake up and say "God, unless you give me physical strength right now, I cannot get out of this bed much less do the things you have for me to do today.

That having been said, God said something a little different to me this week. Our church is going to be hosting the Deep South Quartet Convention on March 18th and 19th. It will be a packed weekend. I know for sure that I will be blessed, but I also want to be used by God to be a blessing to other people. On top of that, a couple of my bestest best friends, Scott and Lisa Roberts (Broken Vessels) will be coming the weekend before. WooHoo!! I am so excited! The first time I met them, I was at a very low place physically. That was during our "Breakthrough Weekend". I was there for every session, but it was so, so hard for my body. My spirit was dancing though. As it has gotten closer to our time together and the Quartet Convention, I have been praying for all that God has planned for that time but also I have been begging Him to give me the physical strength to be a part of everything, to be able to enjoy my sweet friends, and to be able to minister to people without being absolutely miserable. I told Lisa that I was praying for that.

As this week has gone on, God has spoken to me about that in many different ways. I don't know if He was giving me confirmation or if He was just trying to get it through my thick head. First, He reminded me of 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me." Yes, of course I want Christ's power to rest on me. I have none on my own.

He needed to show me this in one other way just to be sure that I get it. I was reading from "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts. Here is a little excerpt from a section entitled "Sacrifice, My Status Symbol". "You would make Christianity pleasant and acceptable. Your Saviour did not find it so. You would make it comfortable and accomodating to your own schedule. He knew nothing of such a false religion. Lonely nights, He wrestled in prayer nor spared Himself physical discomfort. Yes, and the more you pamper the flesh as to bodily comfort, the more it will demand of you, until you become its servant." Wow! God did not promise me that He is going to make the next few weeks easy, comfortable, or pain-free for me, but He did promise that He will show Himself strong. Lisa, please share with Scott "I feel like I know how to pray for you in a way that alot of people cannot. Be encouraged, dear brother, that He shows Himself even mightier in your life when you are in pain. The things you endure daily glorify and lift Him up. I will continue to pray for you physically, but much more that others will see Jesus in you."

Christians, how often do we put our own comfort and convenience before what God is telling us to do? That is going to be a hard one to explain someday when we stand before Him.

Some have asked about being able to comment on my posts. You will need to sign up with blogspot. I think that just involves setting up a username and password. There should be a place for you to do that at the top of the page. Your comments of how God is working in your life can be used in someone else's life.

Crazy Peace

One of the very cool things about getting in the Word and letting God speak to you is that after hearing, reading and even memorizing a verse for years, He will show you something new. I will be 102 years old (because my plan is to live to be 109).........sorry, I fell off my bed laughing about the phrase "my plan".....bring it back, Missy, back on the subject. I will be 102 years old and still be saying that God is doing a new work in my life because He continues to teach me new things and reveal more of Himself to me.

I have alot of favorite verses which I guess means they would need to be called something besides my favorite. Oh dear, this is not a good sign. I am having alot of trouble staying on the subject this morning. It is going to be one of those days. I will try again - I love Isaiah 26:3 "The steadfast of mind Thou wilt keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in Thee." I really like this translation too - "You, Lord, give true peace to those who depend on You, because they trust in You." I have that verse memorized and God has used it in my life alot over the years especially this past year. I tell my ladies that we never get a call ahead of time to let us know that a very difficult trial is about to come. There is not warning. We just get a call saying a child has had a wreck, or the tests results aren't good, or we added wrong in our checkbook and our balance is actually negative 432.15 instead of positive, you get the idea. However, nothing we go through is a surprise to God. Reminding ourselves of that is so assuring. When we are right in the middle of those things, we often find ourselves completely at peace. I call that "crazy peace". It is the peace that makes no sense whatsoever to us or anyone around us. It is the peace that can only come from God.

Yesterday morning while spending some time with God, I spent some time really thinking about that verse (again, any time I use the word "think", I have to pause to use air quotes because my brain is incapable of producing any good thoughts - they are all God). I thought about how we pray for a person going through something and we say "God, give them peace." I am not saying it is wrong to pray that. I just realized from this verse that we don't have to beg Him to give us peace. He will give us peace when we completely trust Him. He is the Prince of Peace. So peace is actually His presence. Yes, if you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit is living inside of you. But if you are not walking daily with Him in an intimate relationship, you can't feel His presence. As a result, you will fall apart in these difficult times you go through. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were already walking with God before they were thrown in the fire. They didn't wait until they were in the middle of it and call out to Him.

Crazy peace comes when we are trusting Him. We are spending time with Him daily in His Word, in prayer, walking through our day with Him on the throne of our life, listening and obeying. Because we know that He is in control, we know that whatever comes into our life, He already knew about and He will take care of us. That doesn't always look like we think it should, but we are not God. I am so glad of that. Even if it doesn't turn out like we thought it should, we can know that it is for His glory. He will use it to glorify Himself and make us more like Him. That is our goal of life not our comfort. I got a tweet from Lecrae yesterday - this is good. "Prepare your heart now to embrace today's difficulties. God uses those to refine us and save us from worshipping comfort." Wow!

So the next time you find yourself in a hard place (if you aren't in one now, it won't be long) instead of saying "God, give me peace" say "Thank you, Prince of Peace, that you are in my life and in control. I choose to trust You with this. Thank You for Your crazy peace that You have promised to give me when I trust You." Don't worry, He knows the term crazy peace. He has heard me say it many, many times. I just love how He speaks my language. If you ever wonder if He has a sense of humor, you should hear some of our conversations.

Have an awesome day filled with crazy peace.

Rejoice Over ME????

I was getting ready for church this morning. I had Pandora pulled up on my laptop listening to worship music. I was trying to get my heart ready for church. I try to get my mind off of myself and onto God and others. I don't want to go to church because I have to. I also don't want to go to church for what I am going to get out of it. Don't get me wrong - I get alot out of church. It is always a blessing - every time without fail. But I want to be a blessing to God when I go. I want my worship to be real and an acceptable offering to Him - a sacrifice of praise that I lay on the altar. I also want God to be able to use me in other people's lives while I am there. Most of the people I see at church, I don't see during the week. Sometimes because they only come on Sunday mornings, but also because I am not always there on Wednesday nights. My body makes that call sometimes. I always pray about it - God knows how I feel. If He says "Rest" then I rest. If He says "Go", then I go. So on Sunday mornings, I prepare my heart, I ask God to take the throne and work through me however He wants. I pray that every person I come in contact with, God will work through me to give them exactly what they need from Him at that moment. Sometimes it is prayer, a word of encouragement, a hug, a smile, a witness, an example, even a work of rebuke (I really don't enjoy those). I don't want those precious few hours to be wasted.

So as I am listening to the music, I heard a phrase. I am not sure if it was in the song or just my mind. I stopped and listened to the song and didn't hear it again. I don't even remember exactly how it was worded, but something to the effect of God rejoicing over me with singing..... I had heard that before. I looked until time to leave for church, looked until the kids got to my class, looked until time for the service to start, and them came home and pulled all my Bibles out and looked some more. I FOUND IT!! Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you; the mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in His love; He will sing and be joyful about you." The last line in the NKJV says "He will rejoice over you with singing." Read that again and let it sink in for a few minutes. There is verse after verse telling us to rejoice in Him, to sing to Him and about Him, to praise Him, and on and on. But this verse says that He sings over me. Yes, I am in tears at this point. You know I have to picture things in my mind to get the full effect. I picture God, the God of the universe, Creator, Redeemer, Eternal King.....rejoicing over me - sinful, selfish, hell-deserving, insignificant worm - with singing. Can you picture that? Oh, what love that a holy God would rejoice over me. And yet, we still hold back part of ourselves for our own selfish purposes. He loves us so much that not only did He send His Son to die for us to reconcile us to Himself and to save us from hell, but He wants to have a daily, intimate relationship with us. He wants to use us for His kingdom work. And yet we still live our lives our way. That blows my mind.

Precious Father, this is one of the most humbling verses I have ever read. You rejoice over me with singing. I don't deserve that at all. Thank you that I don't have to deserve it and never could. Jesus in me deserves it. He is what you see when you look at me. When I am self-centered and start to do things my way, remind me of this verse. Draw my attention back to You, Your mercy, and Your grace. I love You!