It has been quite awhile since I posted. So much has happened. Our state was devastated by tornadoes on April 27th. I can not even put into words what it has been like. The testimonies have been unbelievable. You are able to see exactly what it is like to go through this type of tragedy with or without God. On the same news report, I would see one person who was distraught and without hope because they had lost everything and another person who said they had God and that was all they needed. God has used this to glorify Himself in so many ways. He has also taught the people of this state what it means to love your neighbor. Everyone has come together to pray, work, and give to those effected directly by the storms. I have a trunk full of Bibles right now. A group of us hope to be able to go into some of the hard hit areas close by and just allow God to use us how He wants to. Whether it be to listen, pray with someone, share the gospel, cry with them, hug them - we just want to be a glove on God's hand. We will give a Bible to anyone who lost their's or has never had one.
New subject: I would like to share a little of the latest thing that God has slapped me across the head with. If you know me or have been reading my blog, you know that God generally has to deal with me in that way. I don't think I have ever learned a lesson the easy way in my entire life. Several days ago I was reading from "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It was a gift from my sweet mother-in-law, Julie, for Christmas in 1986 (about a month before I was saved). May I say that there are days that I read Oswald and I just sit there with my mouth open. "Whaaaat does that mean??" I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. Sometimes I wish he would dumb it down for me a little, because the days that I understand are awesome. Ha. Let me quote a small section for you that talks about self-pity.
"We think it a sign of real modesty to say at the end of a day - "Oh, well, I have just got through, but it has been a severe tussle." - And all the Almighty God is ours in the Lord Jesus! And He will tax the last grain of sand and the remotest star to bless us if we will obey Him. What does it matter if external circumstances are hard? Why should they not be! If we give way to self-pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we banish God's riches from our own lives and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it obliterates God and puts self-interest upon the throne. It opens our mouths to spit out murmurings and our lives become craving spiritual sponges, there is nothing lovely or generous about them."
Whoa! - the luxury of misery. I see people everyday who are miserable and they don't want to be any other way. They love to wallow in their misery. They love the pity of others. I realized that even though I don't try and make people feel sorry for me, I do have my own little private pity parties. It is private because nobody shows up to party with me. I never thought about how my talking or thinking about what a rough week I have had is as if I am saying that God was not enough to get me through it victoriously. "Well, I survived, but barely." When I feel sorry for myself because of my MS and the things I can't do, I am in essence questioning God for allowing this to come into my life. I am showing a lack of faith. I am saying that all that God does through me and in me is not enough. He IS enough!! I asked for forgiveness then I asked God to show me everytime I was beginning to start the party preparations. I want Him to yell at me when I begin to get out the streamers and the balloons. I want Him to make me aware of where my mind is headed because I don't want to let anyone be able to look at my life and think that God is not enough - that He somehow didn't come through for me - that they need to pity me. I want people to look at me and see Jesus.
BTW, don't watch your mailbox for an invitation. No more pity parties for me.
